Missing in Inaction…
I can’t believe it has been more than a year since I wrote on the blog. More than a year since I properly tended to my own unfoldment. I have been lost in an unending distraction made up of my work and recreational activities. Both of which placing greater and greater demands on my time and energy. I have coped with this by surviving it, simply pushing through sometimes each day as it comes, sometimes each step I am taking.
It seems that I have now reached a changing point in life, they happen at various points and with the right information and openness are usually quite positive and life affirming. If what I have been told is true then this could be one of the most important changes of my life. Leading me into the true purpose of my being. It’s inception is not uncommon and has deep similarities with how I felt four years ago. At that time I was despondent, unable to reconcile what I do with my work to anything meaningful in a larger sense of the world. Back then I had someone enter my life who brought me the light that allowed me to cope with these last four years.
The ability to learn and endure being somewhere that I may, in truth, not belong. Somewhere I needed to be only for the purpose of my journey through life as a stepping stone. This place still serves to keep me alive, it fails however to excite and nurture me and so changes must begin.
The first change is home location, a simple matter of temporarily breaking my need to control my environment by owning the property I live in. I started that journey today by agreeing a let on a beautiful house surrounded by green areas and woodland. A place I can easily break my self captivity of a weekend by walking out the door… A step that I have been reluctant to take in my current home.
As part of the next few years of change I will need to learn a lot. Both in terms of education, continuing life lessons and the understanding of what I want to do. I have known for as long as I can remember that I want to help people. I have an innate ability to communicate with many different people. I will be taking my knowledge and opening my mind far wider than I have in the last twelve months to answer the questions :
– Who do I want to help now?
– How do I want to help?
– Where do I want to be?
By answering these I will get closer to my “Why?”. Until I get there the journey of change begins anew with one step to change the things that I feel are not serving me. A scary, exciting and relieving thought. I have the courage to pursue it, enjoy the ride with me.